Might as well be a Pink Bunny.

I have this insane ability to create blog posts in my head as I'm going about my day.  Then I sit down to put my thoughts down (so I can remember to deal with them later) and I draw the biggest blank you've ever seen.   I have a feeling I'm not alone when it comes to this.  It's still frustrating. 

I've freaked myself up by signing up for yet another half marathon, the Sioux Falls Skedaddle.  I have a massive love affair with Pink Gorilla events.  They're back of the pack supportive and they make things fun even when the surroundings are sucking hard.  It's 2 weeks after the OmaHalf so I may spend April sore as heck.  But it's in a town I haven't been to before (that I remember) and it's with good running friends.  Needless to say I'm looking forward to it. 

I'm gonna admit I'm scared though.  I want to try to get a 2:50 half (told ya, I'm slow).  I'm not sure I can do it.  It may just be because I'm stuck on a treadmill for training right now but it feels like I'm even slower than ever.  I'm right where I'm supposed to be with my long pace but I almost feel like I'm cheating when it comes to my conversational pace.  I'm still working on "sprints" or "hard" runs and hills.  And I think I'm doing them right.  I don't know, my brain isn't my friend right now I guess. 

Take Sunday (my "long" run day) for example.  I did 7 miles, on my recommended easy pace.  Walked a few times, had to hop off and on to get water, and ran.  I felt guilty for using my mint lotion after my shower.  I felt guilty for enjoying my compression socks.  Almost like I didn't earn that small happiness.  I have to hop off for water since I'm like a newborn deer on ice when I'm on the treadmill, but it still feels like I'm cheating. 

A gal online told me something I need to work on when it comes to these damned thoughts.  I wouldn't trash a friend's efforts like that, why am I trashing myself?  I wouldn't want them giving up due to my cruel worlds, so why am I sabotaging myself so badly?

So that's where my brain is at going into week 4 of training.  LOL 8 more to get it back in there huh? 

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